Domestically Blissed

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“It was just hell on earth. The guns never stopped. Shells never stopped, not hardly for a minute. There wasn’t a flat bit of earth anywhere. Craters everywhere. Craters cutting the lips of other craters” BBC Archive                                                              

Yesterday was ANZAC Day in this part of the world. Our war remembrance day  has become more and more popular over the last few years. It is clear that we are not forgetting.

As a history student, the story of the first world war shocked me. The incompetence of the generals. The incredible loss of life. The inhumane attitude towards the  suffering of the troops.  The ‘war fever’ leading up to 1918, and the persecution of those who chose not to fight.

“That whole wood was lined with machine guns from one end to the other. The company went over 230 strong and only 11 privates survived. This was ridiculous. It had never been planned at all” BBC Archive

On ANZAC Day, as we remember those who lost their lives in these terrible wars, I hope that we also remember that war is about suffering.  I hope, while we remember the sacrifice and gallantry of the ‘glorious dead’, that we don’t forget that war is not about glory, its about death. We must remember the mothers that lost sons, wives that losts husbands, children that lost fathers.

I hope while we stand quietly at dawn, rather than pride in our hearts we have sorrow. And a commitment to peace.

“Do they matter? Those dreams from the pit?…

You can drink and forget and be glad,

And people won’t say that you’re mad;

For they’ll know that you’ve fought for your country

And no one will worry a bit.”

                                              Siegfried Sassoon

PlanningQueen who is the most organised mama in blogland, tagged me for a Food Porn Meme. 

Now, I am delighted to talk about food - I’m a real foodie … I love reading about it, I love shopping for it, I love cooking it, and of course, most of all I love eating it.

So this MeMe has been tonnes of fun.

1. What food do you consider the best “date” food? In other words, what meal or food item do you think is sexiest to eat in the company of someone you would like to look sexy around?

Pizza. Seriously - I know this sounds terribly banal … but I met my husband at 21 so all my dating experiences were in my poor student days. Pizza restaurants, where you can bring your own wine, and eat a large piece of pizza, with your hands, while sitting in a dark corner … in fact, that was my first date with Hubby too.  Red wine and gourmet pizza to me is very sexy.

2. What well-known person would you like to share a meal with—with or without clothing. (saying whether or not clothes are involved is optional).
With clothing … the Dalai Lama. I would feel incredibly honoured to meet this holy man. I always adore reading interviews with him … in fact I posted about my favourite one here.

But this is supposed to be a sexy meme … so I’m going to choose the very sexy, if completely fictional character of Alan Shore from Boston Legal. Its not so much that he is physically attractive - he isn’t - but so smart, so confident, so intense …

3. What does your perfect breakfast-in-bed look like? (Food AND the details, please. Candles? Music? Flowers? Hot tub? Dancing girls?
Waking up at Vida - an eco retreat in the bush and one of my favourite places in the whole world.  Hubby beside me … I know that’s cliched but I adore him. The Sunday papers, a seriously good latte, french toast served crispy with berries and maple syrup. That’s it - that would be serious luxury. Oh, what motherhood does to us.

4. What do you consider the best application of whipped cream to be?
Brandy Snaps. Or scones, freshly baked with home made strawberry jam. Or on top of yorkshire pudding with lashings of golden syrup. Or with chocolate brownie. Or on top of a pavlova.  I’m a bit of a sweet tooth  … so why would I waste whipped cream any other way????

5. Oh-God-No, Biff, the yacht is sinking! You are sent to the galley to retrieve the food. What luxury food items do you snatch first? The champagne? The caviar? Smoked Salmon? Truffles? Chocolate? Or something else? 
I can survive without champagne. I can survive without caviar. I can even survive without chocolate. But should you dare to deny me a cup of seriously strong coffee in the morning, then you are a brave, brave person. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

Now it is my turn to tag 5 people (is it just me or is this a bit too much like a chain letter?). As with Planning Queen, I am not 100% sure on the protocol for tagging other bloggers, so if I cross the wrong lines please let me know! And if memes aren’t your thing, that’s cool too.

So …  I have tried to think of bloggers that I know love their food! I tag …  Highway Cottage, (who does amazing things with home grown veg) Anthromama (who I challenge to make scrapple sexy!), TheGoodWitch, (if she can pull herself away from Ravelry), Megan at ParentingStyle (because I haven’t heard from her lately) and Nikki at Satisfying Journey (who might not be able to make Gluten Free Crusts sexy).

Over the last three weeks, our playgroup has recently had a few sessions with a woman from the Steiner federation. It has been an amazing experience, but I have struggled to  write about it because it has affected me so personally.  

As a mother who rushes around at high speeds, speaks very quickly, spends hours on the internet, schedules activities in for every day, works part time, loves the company of others and gets extremely jittery at the thought of spending time alone …  a lot of what this woman had to say was very hard to hear.  

Of course, I am paraphrasing terribly, and I welcome comments from anyone that thinks I have gotten the wrong end of the Steiner stick!

We all know the way we speak to our children can be deeply harmful, but we often forget that it can be extremely helpful, and healing. Young children absorb everything they experience into their very being. In that sense, the way we speak to them actually  forms who they are.

By being fully present when we speak, by choosing our words consciously, by speaking slowly, calmly, peacefully we help our children develop fully. Beautiful words will have a very positive affect, just as ugly words will harm our children. 

Filling our homes with artificial voices – the television, the radio, recorded music – confuses the child and is no substitute for the living voice. It is only the living voice that can be the powerfully positive, healing force that we desire. Children need to hear their mother and father speaking to them, singing to them, telling them stories – and they need to hear this constantly.

Children are very sensitive to sense impressions and even a trip to the supermarket, with its bright lights, colours and noises, will be incredibly overwhelming.  It is important to give our children a rich home-life – and that means spending a lot of time at home, just pottering about quietly doing home-making activities.  Children won’t get bored doing this – they will love imitating their mother, playing with a few simple toys, running around the garden. It is the mothers that get bored.  Many mothers are ‘too much in the mind’ with a running commentary going through our heads, thinking about the next thing we need to do, giving off a busy, nervous energy.

She commented that when mothers live ‘in their heads’ and rush their children around over-filling them with sense impressions, the children too become manic, over-wraught, excitable.  Homes are filled with so many toys – these can be pared down to just a very very few quality toys that the child can love.

What she said has had a big impact on me. Initially -   I wanted to reject everything she  was saying. After all, we don’t watch TV, hardly go to the mall, our activities usually take place outdoors and close to nature. We might be busy, but I really thought that Munchkin likes going out, being busy as much as I do – and I would go crazy spending a day at home. I thought of women of my mothers generation, who suffered from terrible loneliness without the social support networks we have today.

But, as I thought about it, the truth of these teachings really hit me. Of course, adopting these teachings doesn’t mean we stop seeing other people. Or that we stop going out. But spending more time at home, not doing anything in particular has made a big difference. Munchkin thrives on this. And surprisingly, I’m really enjoying it too.

Its so easy to buy toddler clothes these days isn’t it? Just pop down to your local deparment store and you’ll find a ‘childrenswear’ section jammed packed with the latest fashion for tots.

The prices will be extremely reasonable, the colours will be exceptionally bright, and you’ll have the added bonus of a Barbie, Wiggle, or SpongeBob on every second item.

 Yuck yuck yuck.

I found myself wandering through a few large department stores at a mall the other day,  and came out extremely depressed.

To be fair, I’m a difficult customer to please. I have an obsession with natural fibres. I try to avoid anything made in China. I wont buy clothes with ‘logos’ ‘characters’ or ‘slogans’ – as Anthromama says “If I wanted to look at ads, I’d watch TV”.

So, that means that, with few exceptions, I can’t buy anything at the mall. The only thing I found that was made in New Zealand were some socks and tights made by Columbine – hooray for that.

I know I tend to preach, and I am sorry about that, but the abundance of poorly made, cheap as chips clothing breaks my tree-hugging-heart

Producing new clothing is incredibly wasteful of natural resources (do you know that it takes at least 2000 litres of water to produce a single cotton tee-shirt), and the sweatshop conditions in clothes factories are something none of us should be comfortable supporting.

My obsession with all things Steiner is causing a few rolled eyes here at Domestically Blissed. Hubby laughed out loud when I read him this excerpt from “Waldorf Education”

‘As mothers develop an understanding of and appreciation for the Waldorf School they being to bring home life in closer harmony with life in the school. The toys start to change. Plastic is out and natural materials are in. Suddenly there are woven baskets in the home filled with pine cones, nuts and stones. The child’s clothing also changes. “Loose” “layered, and “warm” are the watchwords as the child beings to wear more clothing tan ever before. Hats appear for young children thought-out the year and woolen undershirts as well. 

Building a Bridge to Waldorf Fathers – Jack Petrash.

Fortunately, given my own talents in this area, My mother in law is an exceptional knitter. She whipped this pilot cap up while watching the rugby, using Sweet Pea’s cancer fundraising pattern.

It reminds me a little bit of WaldorfMama’s gorgeous Waldorf Pilot Caps. WaldorfMama wrote a beautiful post on how important knitted hats are for little ones –

I feel very strongly about keeping babies and children warm.  young children do not have a fully developed sense for temperature (their own or that around them) so they are dependent on us to dress them appropriately.  And since the majority of warmth leaves via the head, this means keeping their head covered.  Rudolf Steiner, the founder of Waldorf education and it’s inherent philosophy, believed that one of the most critical gifts we can give a child is to ensure they have sufficient warmth by keeping their head covered…which ‘keeps the inner soul warm’

Sweet Pea’s designed this lovely pattern as a fundraiser when her 5 year old nephew was diagnosed with Leukamia. So, if you are looking for great cause and an excuse to do some knitting – head on over and pick up the pattern.

Forgive me readers for I have sinned. I’ve flunked the challenge – big time.

Earlier in the week all was going well. I was feeling virtuous. I had bought some pants and some tops for Munchkin, but they were second hand and absolutely necessary given the change in weather. I was looking forward to reporting in today with a clean conscience.

But then I saw this beautiful Happy Birthday Banner at Waldorf Mama.

photocredit: waldorfmama.blogspot.com 

And then I decided I had to order one. Given the shipping delay, Bluebird Baby’s waiting list and the fact that the NZ/US exchange rate is at an all time high I decided to throw the challenge aside and order one. Its not necessary. Its going to come all the way from the US. But its so so beautiful and will become a family treasure I know.

And then the home phone broke.  I work from home, I need a phone. And – despite my own personal mission not to buy anything made in China (unless its second hand) – it seemed impossible to buy a phone not made in China. And second hand phones take too long to get.

And then an online friend said she had sourced some great fabric and was making little girls trousers if anyone was interested. I was. I ordered two. I was out of good excuses here – they were cute. I love WAHM made stuff. I was only going to buy them on May 1.

So I think I’m officially ‘off the wagon’.

Lets see if I can do better this week.

On National Radio this week I heard an interview about human trafficking and the growth in human slavery across the world. Disturbing, appalling, sobering stuff. It has stuck with me all week and I felt I had to make some comment on it.

So many everyday products may well have been produced with some elements of slave labour. Without Fair Trade certification, any product from the developing world is suspect – even our cell phones and lap tops.

However, the interviewee specifically mentioned that the tea, coffee, chocolate, and to some extent sugar industries are rife with human slavery. One of the most important things we can do is buy fair trade brands like Scarborough Fair and Trade Aid. 

We are all very price driven, and its certainly no different here at Domestically Blissed where I talk regularly about our ‘budget of doom’. But if saving a few cents means that your coffee could be made by slave labour, then we are hardly any better than the human traffickers themselves.

To learn more about Fair Trade visit the international fair trade labeling organisation .You can also listen to the interview that I heard by following this link and selecting the interview marked “World’s Fasted Growing Crime”

When it comes to buying baby stuff, it really is a jungle out there. There are just so many gorgeous things to choose from. I was helping a newly pregnant friend put together her baby shopping list this week, which got me thinking about all the things that may be slightly outside the mainstream but that I think every new parent should have.

As an aside, for those of you that are interested, I found this great article on the Waldorf approach to newborn baby care.

So just for fun, here are my top picks for crunchy new baby essentials.

 
 Bedding

photocredit: www.merinokids.com

Firstly, may I recommend a hammock rather than a cot. Its ideal if you are intending to co-sleep as it gives a baby somewhere safe to sleep for naps, and is a perfect alternative to a port a cot as you can hang it from any door frame. Naturesway hammocks accommodate babies well past 1 year, so you will get great use out of it.

I also have to mention the wonderful merino GoGo bags - you can see from the photo how beautiful they are. Its a real shame they are now made in China, but they are exceptional quality and I really haven’t found another sleeping bag that comes even close.

Out and About

photocredit: dulceandzoet.co.nz

Whether you are AP minded or not, a sling  is a blessing not to be under-rated. I love my DulceandZoet sling, but I suggest you try to get in contact with a local babywearing group to see different slings in action. In New Zealand, check out www.slingbabies.co.nz. Intenational groups are listed at www.thebabywearer.com.

Even devout baby wearers usually end up with a pushchair.  If you are looking at pushchairs, give serious consideration to a Mountain Buggy. Made in clean green New Zealand, they have a great range of options for attaching bassinets, car seats, toddler seats, and they stand by their product even years down the track. We have a second hand ‘Terrain’ model, and I’m totally in love with it.

Toys and Things

photocredit:www.tagyourbaby.co.nz

I have to confess we bought a rather revolting Tiny Love baby activity gym - where the baby lies on her back and looks at dangling synthentic fleece toys. I think it was a contributing factor to Munchkin’s very flat head which took months to come right.

But if I knew then what I knew now, I would have chosen one of these taggy floor mats from TagYourBaby.  It might be made of a synthetic material but this is one case where I don’t mind - little babies spill a lot, so polar fleece does come into its own for a playmat.

You can buy some very beautiful wooden and cloth toys appropriate for little babies. They will quickly start putting things in their mouth, so natural and preferably organic materials will be so much nicer.

Baby Care

photocredit:www.babynecklace.co.nz

Its very anthroposophical to like Weleda products for baby, but that aside they really are lovely . I am a big fan of the calendula nappy hange cream. I also love the smell of ecostore baby products, especially their divine baby bath. And once baby starts teething, I think an amber teething necklace is a worthwhile investment.

Clothing

I really do feel that wherever possible newborns should be dressed in organic cotton - here’s some of the reasons why. It is expensive, but its one place that I think it is necessary. Second hand organic baby clothing has fantastic resale value on eEbay and TradeMe so if you think of it that way its not actually that costly!

For little ones, all-in-ones that snap all the way up the front are the easiest things to get baby in and out of. In colder weather add a cotton or wool singlet underneath, and a pure wool cardigan and hat for outings, you’ll be set for most weather.

While many people will advise you not to buy too many clothes in newborn sizes, you willeasily go through three changes of clothes a day. You don’t want to get stuck in the middle of the night with nothing to change baby into! 

Nappies

I could write a whole post just on cloth nappies (OK, OK cloth diapers for those of you in the USA).  The best advice I can give you is to find your local ‘nappy network’ - I know there are online cloth nappy communities in New Zealand, Australia, UK and US - and probably elsewhere as well.

My top pick for a little baby is a simple prefold and cover system. I love  bamboo prefolds (I use the double layered bamboo inserts - they are perfect as prefolds. For covers, wool is hard to beat. Its breathable, incredibly waterproof, and a lovely natural fibre to use. Its just a little more work than PUL but really, not as much as you would think. These are my favourite wool covers because they are just so pretty.  

I found the most useful information I found on cloth nappies came from the fabulous Snazzipants website. In particular, for newborns they say that “we usually recommend that to stay sane with your first new baby, you use disposables for the first couple of weeks. New babies are really small, and if you are going to have a fit issue, you are going to have it right at the beginning when your baby has teeny tiny chicken legs. And very explosive poo. Not the best mix!”

There is tonnes of cloth nappy information out there, and it can all be a bit confusing. But its only because they are so cute and so much fun - really, they are actually very easy to use.

I’d love to know what your favourite baby things are, so please leave a comment with any ideas that you have.

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