Autumn

Summer is officially over here, with the end of daylight savings. I have to admit to being a complete grinch about daylight savings. I hate the idea of arbitrarily changing time. I hate feeling mildly jetlagged for a few days afterwards. I hate the hassle of changing the clocks around the house. And now I have a little one I hate trying to get to ‘spring forward’ or ‘fall back’.

Well, with that off my chest I thought I would share my confessions on the buy nothing challenge. With the weather suddenly colder, Munchkin’s wardrobe is badly equipped. I pulled down her winter clothes from last year, and thankfully one woolen cardigan and one woolen vest still fit.

I bought this gorgeous top from Anenome prior to the challenge, but it still leaves us seriously short for cold days.

So under the ‘emergency’ instructions from Crunchy Chicken I am endeavouring to buy second hand. I bought one little top last night on TradeMe (Ebay NZ), and have a few other things on my watchlist. I think a few winter basics count as essentials surely!

On a completely different note, I also came across this wonderful looking ‘anthroposophical day nursery’. Anthromama mentioned it to me and it certainly looks like something extremely special. Sadly its about 6 hours away from us, but I found their website fascinating. To me, if you have to put your child into a daycare situation, this is the ideal. Biodynamic meals. Individual care for tiny ones. Plenty of space. A beautiful garden. Steiner’s indications in action. Of course, if you object to being told what nappies to buy and what bottles to use it might not be your cup of tea.

From their website “It is surely every child’s right to grow up in a garden filled with flowers and herbs, vegetables and fruits, where they feel the grass under their feet and are surrounded by the beauty of nature’s creations. The awe of a sunflower towering above them, or the sound of mother hen chortling to her bevy of chickens, are experiences that can only enhance and strengthen the sense of life as well as the child’s relationship to the natural world”

Wishing you all a wonderful week.

Material Girl

I hate to think of myself as materialistic, but I am a spender. A fritterer. A waster of money, time and energy finding new fripperty to spend my money on. 

Its been three days of enforced frugality on this buy nothing challenge, and I can’t say I’m enjoying it.

I am savouring the enjoyment of the last few things I bought prior to my decision to reign in my inner Material girl, and thought I would share with you some of my treasures.

 

Firstly, Munchkin’s first Waldorf doll. If I was more Steiner-fied I would have made it, but she would probably be 16 before she got one. Isn’t she beautiful?

Then at the craft markets I bought one of these cute pots, with what looks like a very resilient cactus planted in it. I have a terribly black thumb but it doesn’t stop me buying plants. I’m sure that’s some kind of abuse to plant-kind.

And I have to share with you the illustrations with you from Gerda Muller’s Autumn. They are so lovely. It is a beautiful book to own.

I fear it is going to be a long month.

Let it wait – Steiner schools and delayed academics

photocredit: anemonecrafts  My copy of You Are Your Child’s First Teacher is due back at the library on Monday, so I’ve been busily re-reading it. As soon as a second hand copy comes up I’ll be jumping to buy it – it is such a wonderful resource. One of my favourite chapters is on cognitive development and early childhood education.

One of the things people often struggle with about Waldorf schools is the delayed academics, in particular not teaching reading until the age of seven.  As Baldwin-Darcy says ‘there is tremendous pressure in our society to teach reading, writing and math to children at an increasingly early age’. 

 Parents I know delight when their three year olds love books and start to recognize words. Understandably, we are all so proud of our children, we want them to achieve. But what are they achieving? 

“Little children can copy at a rote level, but they’re probably not using the (neurological) circuits which will connect with meaning. Let it wait. Children of this age should not be sitting at desks, doing academic tasks. Get their busy brains out doing and learning, not practicing lower level skills” Jane Healy – Your Child’s Growing Mind 

In fact, there is no evidence that early academics has any long term benefits at all –  despite not being taught to read before the age of seven, by age nine Waldorf /Steiner educated kids are achieving just as well academically. 

Baldwin-Darcy describes a typical Steiner kindergarten (for 3-6 year olds). The days activities include story time, snack time, arts and crafts, a movement and singing circle, and lots of free play, usually outside.  Rather than copying letters and struggling with maths, these five and six year olds are crafting animals out of beeswax, making bread, digging in the sandpit, singing songs, running, exploring, having fun. Of course they are learning, but the three ‘r’s are not the focus here.  

Reading this made me think of what delayed academics might have meant for some people I know who hated school. Right from day one, they struggled with reading, hated sitting still. Right from day one, they were labeled as ‘struggling’. Meetings were held with their parents. Extra tuition was sought. By the time they were seven, about the age that Steiner kids are just starting more structured lessons, these children were convinced they were dumb.  

One man I spoke to said ‘class-room – dumb. after school tuition – dumber. Reading recovery programme – dumbest’.   I loved school. I loved writing, I loved reading, and I shied away from anything artistic or physical. I was not the ideal Steiner child. I wonder if a Steiner/Waldorf school would have made me a more balanced person – rather than being labeled as an ‘academic’ sort of child at the tender age of 4. Perhaps more physical play, more singing, more painting and crafting would simply have been more fun, more healthy than reading chapter books at 6. I don’t know.

So why do we push our children so hard? Is it from pride – that we want our little Munchkins to prove how clever they are? It is from fear – that if they don’t start early they will never catch up? Is it because we think that’s what good parents do – after all every mainstream parenting magazine has ads from Leapfrog and Fisher Price encouraging us to buy their ‘educational’ toys. I suspect it’s a little bit of all of these things – a symptom of our middle class neurosis.

Buy Nothing Challenge

A buy nothing challenge for the whole month is exactly what I need. My inner material girl has been sneaking out of late, and over the weekend I did a little too much splurging.

So when Crunchy Chicken announced that April would be the month of the buy nothing challenge I knew this was cosmic karma trying to tell me something. 

I am what you might call a ‘fritterer’ when it comes to money. I very rarely spend more than $20-$30 on anything, but I regularly spend less that than. TradeMe (New Zealand’s answer to Ebay) is particularly viscious for the budget, I seem to have an itchy bidding finger.

I kid myself that what I buy is OK - because its second hand or fair trade or made in New Zealand or out of natural materials. But its all still stuff, and its cluttering up my very small house all the same.

So for the month of April its a consumer freeze-out, except for food, petrol, utilities etc. And my daily cup of coffee - I’m sure that isn’t in the spirit of the challeng but a girls gotta function in the morning right? So, its only 30 days. It should be easy right – well lets see!

I plan to keep a note on what I WANT to buy, and then see come May what I still think I need. Already I have this divive pair of made-in-NZ-ttrousers for Munchkin on the list. http://www.littlemissandlittlemister.co.nz/show_item_detail.php?id=587

Aren’t they gorgeous? Lets see if I can get through the month – I’ll keep you posted.  

Menu Planning Monday

Don’t the weeks roll around quickly! We have had a lovely weekend here, eeking out the very last of the New Zealand summer with a few last barbeques. Its starting to feel distinctly Autumnal though … and to be honest I’m starting to hanker over a good old roast potato.

 So on the menu this week:

Monday night: Green Thai Curry. I used the Asian Home Gourmet spice mix, about 1/4 of the packet for 300g of diced, free-range chicken breast. I just mix the spice mix, and the chicken breast in the pan, and then add a jar of coconut milk, with some green beans, and simmer for about 15 minutes. Its so easy and so delicious. Serve with rice and a few steamed veggies.

Tuesday: Home made hamburgers. I’ve already posted the recipe for hamburgers and we have them with caramelised onions, lettuce, tomato, tomatoe sauce and mayo. Munchkin likes bits of hamburger with her steamed veggies (hands up whose child eats much healthier than mum and dad!)

Wednesday – fish night tonight. I’ll egg and breadcrumb it and make some home made chips and salad.

 Thursday – spaghetti bolognaise

Friday – eggs, tinned spaghetti and toast. Very gourmet.

 Have a great week everyone.

 For more menu planning ideas head over to orgjunkie.com

Frenetic Friday

Thank Spirit its Friday!

Now that we are out of hospital, and all in full health for the first time in three weeks, we feel so behind on everything. Of course, this week we have been working like mad bees to catch up.  I’m sad to say that now I am more exhausted than ever.

I should have accepted that I was behind, taken some deep breaths, and found ways to find my centre again after the stress of all our sickness. Being an ESFJ type , I really struggle to relax, particularly when everything is out of order. In fact, tidying up and straightening my world is how I do relax – ploughing through work in the midst of chaos is intensely stresful.

So given my fraught and fractious mind space at the moment, I thought I would post this lovely excerpt from the book “Children who are not yet peaceful” that I found over at Bookworm’s blog.

While this is a list focussed on the needs of children, providing these things for your children means as parents, we must become more peaceful, less frenetic, more centred.

• A slow-paced lifestyle with long hours of sleep on a regular schedule, a nutritious diet high in protein and fresh fruits and vegetables, plenty of exercise, and a generous amount of time in nature.
• Someone to behold the child’s face with joy, hold her, hug her, and treasure her for herself alone.
• Someone to read chapter books aloud for twenty to thirty minutes every day, at a level three years beyond the child’s reading level.
• Someone to recite poetry every day, a new poem each week.
• Someone to sing every day, a new song each week.
• Someone to tell delightful stories of the child’s own life.
• An atmosphere of open curiosity and inquiry, in which everyone in the family treasures learning.
• Responsibility for caring for himself and his own things as well as contributing to meal preparation and the care of the house, garden, and pets.
• A two-hour weekly limit on all screen media – movies, videos, TV, and computer games – combined.
• Freedom from being dragged around on errands.
• Freedom from the cynicism and sarcasm appropriate to later years.
• Parents who say no cheerfully and mean it.
• Parents who wait until their children are in bed to listen to music, watch movies, play computer games, and watch TV programs, even the news, that are not appropriate to the children’s ages or that would give children more media hours than is best for their development.
• Parents who establish and uphold a family child-rearing culture that is appropriate the the child’s age and who support age-appropriate independent thought and action and an age-appropriate role in decision making in as many areas and as often as possible.

Have a wonderful, peaceful, relaxing weekend everyone.

WFMW – Natural cleaning made easy

 

Its all very well to buy your cleaning products from places like BEE and Ecostore, but its even better to make your own. Now, I’m not hardcore on this by anymeans, but there are some situations where DIY is so easy and effective, you’d be daft not to.

 I know there are lots of flash recipes out there involving exotic ingredients like liquid soap, borax and essential oils, but quite frankly if the recipe has more than 2 ingredients I turn off pretty fast. People like the Worsted Witch make pretty labels for their natural home made cleaners which look pretty darn funky (see above)- but in my house its a bit more basic than that.

In my ‘natural cleaning’ cupboard there is just baking soda, white vinegar and washing soda crystals – which can all be bought easily at the supermarket. But you can do a lot with these 3!

Window cleaner and Stainless steel shiner

Very approximately 1 part white vinegar to 3 parts water. Pop it in an old window cleaner container. Sadly, you can’t use newsprint these days because of the new inks, they don’t polish windows like they used to. But I find a teatowel works fine. 

Oven Cleaner

I don’t need to tell you how revolting commercial oven cleaner is. Even the ‘low odour’ ones seem to make the oven stink for a good week afterwards. But this method, with a good measure of elbow grease, works a treat. Dissolve about ¼ cup of washing soda in 1 litre of hot water, in an old spray bottle. Spray on to the oven walls, wait 20 minutes and clean with a dishcloth or a scourer for stubborn stains. 

Drain cleaner

Drain-O and other commercial drain cleaners are seriously hazardous to the planet. The first thing to do is always using a plunger first – its not entirely pleasant but better than getting a whiff of Drain-O. Then, and this is actually fun – pop approx ½ cup of baking soda and ½ cup of ordinary salt down the drain. Then pour into approximately ½ cup of white vinegar. It will make a big fizzy explosion, and the acid it creates will clear the drain. Maybe you should wear a face mask!  

Deoderiser

We all know this but its worth repeating – baking soda is the best deoderiser. In smelly shoes, in the fridge, in drains, in the nappy bucket … anywhere that is smelling, try some baking soda. Apparently some people even rub it into their underarms instead of deodorant.  

 If anyone has any other great ideas I’d love to hear them. And to find out what is working for other blog-ladies head over to rocksinmydryer.com

Why I choose ‘real’ toys

Earlier this week I was with my friend the Yummy Mummy. We were talking, as we usually do, about mothering and children. She commented that the common thread in all parenting books is to treat your child with love and kindness, and provide them with a stable, secure environment. She also commented that she personally couldn’t get that excited about things like wooden toys and not using playpens, and that surely children wouldn’t be any worse off for playing with lots of cheap plastic toys. 

 I have to say I’d never really looked at it that way. I was so convinced of the inherent superiority of what I think of as ‘real’ toys – wooden, open-ended, natural, old-fashioned toys that I had never challenged myself as to why. 

 On reflection, I don’t necessarily believe that Munchkin will somehow be ‘advantaged’ by having wooden toys, or spending as much time as possible outside, or going to a Steiner playgroup. I don’t think that she will be smarter or happier than other children who play with Barbies (urggh) or Fisher Price toys with lots of batteries and whizzy bits.  

But yet, I am very passionate about what Munchkin plays with, as those of you who read often will know. I believe that simple toys encourage Munchkin to use her imagination. I believe that avoiding ‘licensed’ toys will keep some of our pervasive consumer culture out of her childhood. I believe that natural materials means the toys are a bit safer for her to chew on. I know that natural toys, made either in a fair-trade situation or by independent crafts-people in first world nations, are better for the environment and better for the world.  

So I choose real toys, not because I think it makes me a better parent, but because of my personal values. Some of the values that I hold very dear are walking gently on the earth, respecting all human beings, and a belief in the infinite nature of human potential.  These values are expressed in everything I do, and in particular they are expressed every time I spend, or don’t spend, money. For me principles of fair trade, environmental sustainability and honouring craftsmanship are important considerations in every purchase I make.

 This isn’t to say that I only buy fair trade, organic, eco-friendly products – I don’t. Financial realities and day to day efficiency often come first … but I try to strike a balance.  I certainly hope that Munchkin’s childhood will teach her these values. I do hope that she will have a wonderful childhood – but it’s a reflection of my ‘ideal’ of a wonderful childhood.  

But I have to say, I’ve realized that as much as I care about this I would hate to be a zealot. I don’t want to ‘take a stand’ when Grandparents buy her plastic battery powered rubbish – I want to teach her gratitude and respect too. I know some parents who have had major family falling outs over the ‘toy’ issue, and I would feel so sad if I became so obsessed with this issue that I let my relationships suffer for it.

 Its easy in natural parenting circles to get caught up in the dogma. Its easy to feel that our way is somehow superior, and that all parents should be like us. By making the personal political we can become very judgmental of others. Its one of the reasons that I am so glad to have friends whose values are a bit different to mine, and who aren’t afraid to say so. The moral high-ground is, after all, a very lonely place to be.  

Menu Planning Monday

 

Welcome to Monday.  Fingers crossed this is a great week, and that I can get life a little more sorted – I am feeling very much behind the 8 ball! We need to go back to the hospital on Tuesday for a check up so wish us luck. Other than that, we’ll both be catching up on paid work that got neglected last week, and trying to reclaim our house which is less than domestically blessed at the moment! 

 My cooking mojo that I found the other week has deserted me. I am seriously tempted to have nothing but spaghetti bolognaise all week – in fact, scratch that, I would really just like to have a week of toast for dinner. White toast, toasted until its just about to burn, with lashings of pure New Zealand butter. And a cup of tea.

 But, Hubby would starve, and I would probably end up raiding the biscuit tin every night and end up the size of a house.  

I can’t complain too much (just try to stop me!) – things are starting out well – I have been given a blog award – thank you so much PlanningQueen .    I will give some serious thought as to who to pass it on to.

Well, if I can’t have toast every night, then begrudgingly, this what we shall have:

Monday night – chill con carne which is pretty much Monday night standard fare! I can always motivate myself to feast upon a large bowl of this with mashed avocado, lashings of fatty sour cream and chilli sauce. Pure comfort food in my book.

Tuesday night – home made potato wedges (cut your potatoes while they are raw, par boil for 10 minutes, then toss with a splodge of olive oil and some salt. Bake at about 200 degrees celcius for 40 minutes or so, turning once or twice during the cooking. I’ll serve them with some eye fillet steak with lots of veggies.  

Wednesday  –  falafels with rice, pita breads, salad and hummus. One day I’ll get around to making my own hummus – I hear its very easy in a slow cooker.    

Thursday – I am on dinner duty Thursday for a lady in our coffee group who has just had a baby, very exciting. So I am making some calzones with lamb, caramelized onion and tomatoes which will be great for our dinner, and easy to transport too.  I use the breadmaker to make the calzone dough – its so easy. I will do up some salad in a small container on the side, and hopefully I’ll have time to make some desserts as well – just not sure what yet. 

Friday – spaghetti bolognaise and a very large glass (or 3!) of red wine to go with it. And I think I’ll make some garlic bread. I do this by making some dough in the breadmaker. Then, pop some garlic butter into the middle of the dough as you make the rolls, and bake for 30 minutes.

Have a truly wonderful week everyone, and for more inspiring meal ideas head over to http://orgjunkie.com 

Sleep baby sleep

I haven’t had a full night sleep since the Munchkin was born 16 months ago.

 Despite reading every book about infant sleep that I could find, it soon became clear that my baby was just not a ‘self-settling’ type of baby. Leaving her to cry never worked. She never did the ‘cry cry pause’ that the books talked about – she just screamed, and screamed louder. I couldn’t pat her back and ‘shhhh’ her to sleep, she would arch her back and turn purple with rage.  If I didn’t respond to her cries pronto, I would be rocking and settling for ages before she would finally settle, exhausted, on the breast.  

She would wake every 3 hours, sometimes more often, all night. Sometimes we would get a six hour stretch, and think we had made progress, but it would never last. During the day she would sleep for 20 minutes, 2 or 3 times a day. Then at about a year old that turned into 30 -45 minutes, once a day.  It was so hard to find any real support. All the mainstream books described babies that just didn’t act like mine did. The Plunket nurse and GP suggested varying styles of ‘controlled crying’ and my friends all had babies that responded to well to this sort of advice.  

A turning point for me was reading ‘The Fussy Baby Book’ and going to La Leche League. Realising that their were other babies like mine, and that I wasn’t a terrible mother was a revelation. The advice I got from the ‘attachment parenting’ school didn’t solve the problem. We were still very much sleepless in Aoteoroa. But I stopped worrying so much about it. 

I’m pleased to report that we are starting to see some progress now. For the last few nights, Munchkin has slept from 7pm till 2am or so, without waking. Its starting to feel like a pattern, so my fingers and toes are firmly crossed. Last night she fell asleep without breastfeeding, and did the same tonight … amazing. 

So to those of you expecting children and reading all about ‘accidental parenting’ and the need to ‘sleep train’ your baby, please know there are other options out there. I wish I had known about the options when Munchkin was born, it would have saved months of heartache.  

My favourite blog on this subject is Megan’s Parenting Baby to Sleep blog. Its also worth checking out Pinky McKay, Elizabeth Pantley, and good ol’ Dr William Sears. And if  you want to get a bit scientific, it have a look at Centre for Attachment. I hope you all are blessed with babies that sleep. I sincerely hope mine has turned a corner.

 PS – I’ve changed the font after some feedback that Papyrus was very hard to read. What do you think of this one?

PPS - Isn’t that a beautiful photo. Its not Munchkin , full credit can be found here.